Relationships and Personal Space

Couple sitting together

When do you need time apart?

I've been married now for 6 years, and trust me, I'm still no expert! But there are a few things I've learned that I wish someone would've told me going in. I think most people are a little embarrassed by the trial and error process that happens when you get married or start a new relationship. So today, we're talking personal space in relationships. But before we get there, let me give you a little backstory.

couple in front of eifel tower

My husband and I met in New York in the spring of 2010. He's from London and I'm from LA, and we definitely had no idea that a chance meeting would turn into what we have now! We were long distance for about 2 years, traveling back and forth between LA and London before we decided to just get married. This was the OG 90-day visa story before there was a show about it. And this was a scary leap of faith!

One of the many things we've learned that keep us both happy and thriving in our marriage is personal space! Admittedly, this was harder for me in the beginning, mostly because I wanted to be all in his face all the time. I lost myself in marriage, it was like I forgot how to be myself, what made me happy, and what made me ME.

Now that things are much more clear for us both, in terms of our goals as a couple and as individuals, we are better to each other. We are okay with giving each other space to create, build, and have fun! We are both working entrepreneurs, which means we work during the day, and at night on our side hustles. We commit fully to ourselves and commit fully to each other. It's time management at it's finest! 

Tips on personal space in marriage

  1. Couples thrive on doing activities separately from each other; it gives them things to talk about when they are together and it adds to the depth of each person's individuality. 
  2. Being able to engage in outside interests is a good way to develop a stronger sense of self, which leads to the discovery of one’s desires and dreams. This is important because it fosters trust and communication between partners.
  3. Taking space is one of the telltale signs of a healthy relationship. It demonstrates trust, interdependency (vs. codependency) and being able to know your own needs, share them with your partner and have them lovingly received

I would have to say I've never been happier with my life. I don't think I have ever been this dedicated to personal growth, and it's helping every single relationship I have, including my marriage. Now, let's hear from you! Do you have enough personal space in your relationship? Like and comment below!